What?! So Much for Healthy Choices. . .

I love dessert. It's my favorite food group.

Well, given my fondness for dessert and my, uh..... lack of fondness for exercise and moderation, I eat diet desserts to avoid the rip-cord effect on my waist line.

So, yay! Diet Desserts!! Such a great idea!

I've started eating them and have found that I really love them.

A lot.

But, I've discovered a problem with them.

Apparently, they're not really dietetic. I mean, I'm eating them (instead of brownies, bars and banana splits) but I'm not losing any weight.

I even checked the nutrition facts on the label. It said, very clearly, that there's only 140 calories per serving.

And the serving size is 1.

Right.

So I ate one box of ice cream sandwhiches and I gained like two pounds.

Sigh....

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXVIII

I have never had a massage and think the idea of getting one is utterly horrifying.

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXVII

First - I'm having a fierce battle with Writer's Block. If you have topic suggestions, I would greatly appreciate them.

What do you want to read about?

What do you want to know about me? (because, after all, it is ALL about ME)...

Anyway - on to my Perfectly Normal Post.

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I think it's perfectly normal to avoid shopping at a particular store because of its name.

Case in point: DRESS BARN.

Seriously?

They couldn't come up with a name that doesn't have the word BARN in it?

I don't know about you, but I don't want my shopping experience to include feeling like a farm animal.

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXVI

My second toe is shorter than my big toe.

My Husband Thinks it's Perfectly Normal; Part I

So I've written a lot about things that I think are perfectly normal.

I thought it was time to rat out - uh... I mean share with you something about my husband.


He is terrified of bandaids.

Seriously.

He won't go near them.

He will walk around with an injury that looks like it requires stitches and will still refuse to put a bandaid on it.

He thinks it's perfectly normal.

I think it's an issue that warrants some sort of 12-step program...

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXV

I will walk up to 15 extra blocks to avoid having to parallel park.

A Few of My Favorite Things...

I don't have much to say right now (shocking, I know). So, I thought I'd just go with an old stand-by. Here are a few, new favorites - in no particular order...

1. The movie UP
2. http://www.istockphoto.com/
3. Epicuren facial scrub
4. The dollar aisle at Target
5. Push-pin magnets
6. The color purple (not the book/movie - just the actual color itself)
7. http://cakewrecks.blogspot.com/
8. The Aflac Duck
9. Vanilla Tootsie Rolls
10. Cheap flip-flops from Old Navy
11. Otter Pops
12. Microwave Popcorn with Splenda on it
13. Mansfield Park
14. My daughter's new Chore Chart (see this post for details on why this is a new fave)
15. Comments on my blog (not that I'm hinting or anything...)
16. Pink Pearl Erasers
17. Firefox
18. Scramble on Facebook (curse you Laurel. you and your ridiculously high score)
19. Bright pink toenail polish
20. Little House on the Prairie - episode, "The Richest Man in Walnut Grove"

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXIV

Whenever I see a snail, I always pick it up and put it in the grass - away from where people are walking - so that no one will step on it.

I like snails.

I think they're cute.

I don't think they should be stepped on.

Or eaten.

Or have salt poured on them.

Come on people! They could have a whole snail family waiting at home for them. Do you have any idea how long it takes a snail to get from Point A to Point B?

That sweet little snail family could be waiting for days before they even know that anything is wrong!

People......

Please!

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXIII

I know every single word of this movie.

I incorporate phrases into my every day conversations with people whenever possible.

One of my favorite quotes is, "You're very smart. Shut up."

But it's all good.

The movie boasts one moment of brilliance after another.

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXII

I LOVE office supplies.

I can't get enough of them.

You can never have too many office supplies.

So....

My birthday is in November.

I'm just sayin'...

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XXI

I hate the smell of Cheerios.

Well, only Cheerios with milk on them.

Dry Cheerios don't bother me.

But Cheerios with milk?

Seriously.

It makes me gag every time.

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XX

Ever time I walk through a toy department I walk up and down every aisle pushing the buttons on every single toy that makes noise.

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XIX

I cannot handle getting my face wet.

It horrifies me.

I will do whatever necessary to avoid getting water on my face.

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XVIII

I love the rain.

Maybe it’s because my mom loved it so much and it reminds me of our long chats about nothing and everything…

Maybe it’s because of the sound it makes on the windows…

Maybe it’s because it goes perfectly with grilled cheese and tomato soup...

Maybe it’s because it brings back so many good memories of growing up in Portland…

Sigh…

I love the rain…

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XVII

My favorite sandwich is Peanut Butter, Mayonnaise and Lettuce.

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XVI

Actually, this situation probably isn't perfectly normal - but I think my response to the situation is perfectly normal.

So there.

Whenever I'm in a room full of people and it gets really quiet - my stomach decides to growl.

Like, really loud.

Seriously - it sound like a semi is driving through the center of the room. It's so embarassing.

So I fake a coughing fit to cover up the noise.

People still stare at me with these looks of sheer suprise, but at least it's because they're concerned about my health - and not because they think I'm hungry all the time.

I think it's perfectly normal.

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XV

I can identify my coffee mug by my lipstick mark.

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XIV

When my doctor prescribes antibiotics for me, I never use the entire prescription. I usually take about half of it (unless it's a Z-Pack in which case I'll take the whole thing).

That way, I always have an emergency stash of antibiotics so the next time I get sick I don't have to go back to the doctor (click here to gain insight regarding my aversion to visiting my doctor).

I think it's perfectly normal; Part XIII

I love to walk down Main street (at Disneyland) when everyone is lined up for the parade and wave to them like I'm walking the red carpet.

And I don't do the whole celebrity wave either. You know, the whole elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist thing.

No, no.

You have to get a happy, dreamy, far-off expression on your face, make sure that you're lit nicely (lighting that gives off a soft filter sort of look is preferred; it helps to look at the lights - not directly into them, but just off to the right or left of them), stick your arm straight up and out (like a 45 degree angle) and move your hand from left to right.

And then count how many people wave back.

You know you've fooled them into thinking you're something of a big deal when they lean over to their friends, say something very excitedly, point at you and then wave back with expressions of great awe on their faces.

Hey, don't knock it.

It's entertaining and it's free (Well, it's only free at Disney if you have a Disney pass - but this can be done at ANY parade).

I think it's perfectly normal; Part XII

I swallow chewing gum.

And please, it does not take 7 years to digest (click here for more info)