Saturday, January 31, 2009

I Think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XVII

My favorite sandwich is Peanut Butter, Mayonnaise and Lettuce.

Can You See Me Now?

This is my nephew Jonathan.

He was two and a half when this picture was taken.

It's one of my favorite pictures of all time.

P.S. I still expect you people to provide me with some content ideas (see next post for more on that). Come on, I'm counting on you!

A Casting Call for New Ideas

I have a serious case of Writer's Block.

I could use some suggestions on what to write about.

So I thought I'd ask you.

What do you want to read about?

And sorry Diane, politics are off the table.

Give me a topic....

Ask me some questions....

Anything to get the creative process going again.

Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The More You Know...

Thursday, January 22, 2009

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XVI

Actually, this situation probably isn't perfectly normal - but I think my response to the situation is perfectly normal.

So there.

Whenever I'm in a room full of people and it gets really quiet - my stomach decides to growl.

Like, really loud.

Seriously - it sound like a semi is driving through the center of the room. It's so embarassing.

So I fake a coughing fit to cover up the noise.

People still stare at me with these looks of sheer suprise, but at least it's because they're concerned about my health - and not because they think I'm hungry all the time.

I think it's perfectly normal.

Monday, January 19, 2009

The Search is On

Hope and I went to see the movie Hotel for Dogs yesterday. Cute little picture.

Before we leave, I switch purses (I want an old purse that I can set on the sticky theater floor and not worry about ruining it). The purse was completely empty except for my wallet, some gum and some chapstick.

We arrive at the theater and Hope wants to get a snack.

I bought a small popcorn and a bottle of Dasani water.

It cost, like, $57.

The bottle of Dasani water was bigger than your average bottle of water. At least twice the size.

We get settled in our seats and I set the unopened bottle of water on the floor between our chairs (out of the way so that no one will kick it over it they climb over us).

We begin watching the movie and 25 minutes into it, I get really thirsty.

I reach for the unopened bottle of water.

It’s not there.

I reach further back under the chairs thinking that it rolled away from me. I can’t find it. I get out of my chair, get down on my hands and knees and start crawling around groping aimlessly into the inky darkness.

But to no avail…

My $27 bottle of Dasani water is gone.

Some low life miscreant swiped my $27 bottle of water.

Fast forward to this morning.

I’m in my office at work. I am searching through my purse for something and I see it:

The lid to my missing, unopened, $27 bottle of Dasani water!

What the? What sort of game are these people playing? Will I be receiving a ransom note next? Is this supposed to pass as proof of life - like the equivalent of sending the ear of the hostage to the hostage's family? What sort of sick people am I dealing with?!

I have called in the FBI and they’ve launched an official investigation. The list of suspects includes everyone who was at the 2:00 showing of Hotel for Dogs at MetroPointe on Sunday, January 18th. If you attended that movie, expect a visit from the officers in the photo at the beginning of this post.

They have a warrant so don't try anything crazy.

If you have any information leading to the whereabouts of my $27 bottle of Dasani water, you are encouraged to leave it on my blog. I will be in your debt.

Friday, January 9, 2009

Give thanks for the healthy children in your life...

My friend Robbie just blogged about being thankful for his wife and it got me thinking about what I'm thankful for.

Of course I'm thankful for Kurt. I love him with everything I've got and I can't wait to live each day with him. He truly is an incredible human being.

And then I started thinking about my kids. St. Jude's Children's Hospital's tagline is "Give thanks for the healthy children in your life."

Many of you have probably seen advertisements for it on TV, in movie theaters while waiting for your movie to begin, on posters at bus stops, etc.

Every time I see it, it stops me dead in my tracks.

It's such a simple message.

Give thanks.

So simple.

So powerful.

Nothing brings parents to their knees faster than when their child is suffering...

Having healthy children is such a precious gift. And it's so easy to take it for granted.

I love my kids so much. And I'm so blessed that they are strong and healthy...

(Okay, so I'm sorry for being all serious.

"Serious Heidi" is usually locked away and kept under strict surveillance because she's so profoundly uninteresting. However, she does get out every once in a while and must be placated.

You'll be happy to know that I have fed her a chocolate brownie, allowed her to watch a Law & Order Criminal Intent marathon and told her to shut-up.

So she should be good for a while...)

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XV

I can identify my coffee mug by my lipstick mark.

Wednesday, January 7, 2009

Uh, yeah.... It's not a doll.

Hope has a Babushka doll that my aunt gave her. It's very special - lots of sentimental value. Hand painted - from their friends in the Urkraine... It's really nice.

Jack discovered it.

And he loves it.

So, in the interests of keeping the peace, I got them each one for Christmas. One that is cute, but doesn't have any sentimental meaning attached to it.

Last night, Jack is playing with one of them. I ask him, "do you love playing with your Babushka Doll?"

He gives me a withering glare and says, "His name is Butch, Momma. He is NOT a doll."

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Crazy Jack and the One Year Anniversary

One year ago today I made my first blog entry. I'm not sure if that's a noteworthy proclamation, but I thought I'd share it anyway.

So one year ago today, I began changing the lives of millions of people through my quick wit, aMAZing sense of humor and keen photo-selection choices.

Apparently, my blog has done nothing to help with my dillusional sense of self-importance.

But anyway....

In other news....

So Jack has been pretty sick with bronchitis. The doctor put him on Prednisone which is a steroid for his lungs as well as breathing treatments with Alubuterol (a different kind of steroid).

So... He's a little crazy. This video captures a snippit of what he's been spending his days doing. Imagine this - taking place for hours on end...

I'm very happy that he's finally off the steroids!

Saturday, January 3, 2009

I think it's Perfectly Normal; Part XIV

When my doctor prescribes antibiotics for me, I never use the entire prescription. I usually take about half of it (unless it's a Z-Pack in which case I'll take the whole thing).

That way, I always have an emergency stash of antibiotics so the next time I get sick I don't have to go back to the doctor (click here to gain insight regarding my aversion to visiting my doctor).