Sunday, March 29, 2009

Inside the Non-Actor's Studio

I have finally accepted the sad fact that James Lipton is never going to invite me to be a guest on his show (Hey, it's HIS loss, right?)...

But, just in case he DOES come to his senses and invite me to be a guest, this is how I would answer his questions. I provided several answers for each question because I'm far to complex to be encapsulated in just a few words.

What is your favorite word?
Momma, Mommy, Mom (you get the idea)

What is your least favorite word?


What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?

Everything about my husband.
Being accepted.
Being told that I've made a difference.
Comments on my blog (not that I'm dropping hints or anything).

What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Someone rolling their eyes at me.
Smelly smells.
Being sweaty.

What sound or noise do you love?
My kids laughing.
My husband playing his guitar.
Hope playing the piano.
Jack (my two year old) eating a banana.
The words "Previously, on Lost..."

What sound or noise do you hate?
Whining (adult or child).
The sound wet noodles make when being stirred.
Loud chewing.
Someone gulping water.

What is your favorite curse word?
I could list a few but I'm striving for a family-friendly blog.

What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
The person who counts the Oscar ballots (I love the idea knowing who the winners are before anyone else).

What profession would you not like to do?
The person who drives the shuttle from the airport to the offsite airport parking lot.
An employee at Starbucks (just the idea of having to remember the names of high maintenance and neurotic coffee drinkers tires me out).
Cole Miner
Anything that makes you famous (life is hard enough without people hiding in the bushes waiting to get an unflattering picture of you, writing mean stories about you and going through your trash)

What would like you to hear God say when you reach the Pearly Gates?
I'm proud to call you My child.
I love you.
I'm happy to see you.
Your Mom is here and she can't wait to see you. She just baked a white cake with white frosting and is all ready for a chat.
I'm sorry for creating Dora the Explorer and The Backyardigans. Thomas doubted that I could create something that would be completely irritating; Peter was in denial too - so I had to prove them wrong.

Okay - your turn. How would you answer these questions?


Lisa's rants and raves said...

I love the apology about creating Dora and the Backyardigans! That's so funny! Your blogs are so amazing, Heidi! WRITE A BOOK PLEASE!!!! I want an autographed copy when you do!

Anonymous said...

Will you still be my friend if I admit that I don't know who James Lipton is? I love your thoughts. I especially love the last two lines, they made me tear up and laugh at the same time! Brandi

Rick said...

You didn't list hugs at things you don't like. Let me know if you want yours next week. I gave yours to Kristi this week.

shana said...

I won't answer them all, but the words I hate are: panties, ointment, discharge and moist . . . ointment is a new addition, the other 3 have been my "words" for at least a decade now. They are just gross words and I don't like to use them, hear them or in any way even think about them.

Diane Davis said...

i don't have anything witty to say, but i'm leaving a comment so i will not be blamed for stunting the creative genius. this was a great post!

Kristi said... WEINER is not one of your least favorite words??? good to know.
weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner weiner.

Heidi said...


Well played, Kristi.

Well played.

World of Wright said...

Don't come to my house for a dinner party. We have loud chewing issues. I have tried to break them but I can't.
Oh, Thanks! That sutpid Backyardigans song is stuck in my head now!

hbmommy said...

I was wondering what happened to this post! I am so glad you put it back up! Love your dad always makes me white cake with white frosting when I visit him - it's our special thing :)

Oh...and now I can't get the word >Freakin'< out of my head!

Rick said...

I can't comment on "perfectly normal #XXI" because it isn't there. Which is becoming somewhat normal.

StephanieJ said...

Always, ALWAYS love your posts, Heidi! You are so funny! I never write on my blog because I have nothing remotely interesting to say....:)
Sadly enough...I actually enjoy is my one kid show that I hope Isaac will want to watch - it HAS to be better than Diego, or Handy Manny, or Word World (except for when they dance)......
I agree...write a book! I can say "I knew you when..."