The J-Man Super Soaker Irrigation System Extraordinaire

Kurt got Jack out of the tub - I was in Jack's room getting his night time diaper and "keen jammie shut." I hear Kurt shout out "Jack's out! He's out!" I shout back "I'm on it" and head into the living room. I see Jack standing there with his naked little butt facing me. And then I see the it - actually I hear it before I see it. Pee-water shooting out of Jack in a perfect semi-circle arch that reached approximately 2 feet up into the air and hitting the floor (the carpeted floor) in a large puddle. I race toward him. Thinking only of the super-soaked pee spot on my carpet, I pick him up (his back was still to me) and decide to take him to the kitchen since that floor is not carpeted. Somewhere in my pee-spot-on-the-carpet obsessed mind, I had reasoned that as soon as I picked him up, the sprinkler system would disengage. Brilliant. Only after I picked him up did I discover the flaw in my thought process. Not only did he not shut off his super-soaker, he switched it into high gear - simultaneoulsy improving his distance and accuracy. Good grief. I'm still holding Jack out in front me, my arms are straight out in an effort to keep him as far away from me as I can, one hand under each one of his arms - his squirt gun facing away from me and still going strong (he's laughing out loud at this point). As I turn to go into the kitchen, Jack turns right along with me; more importantly his new found irrigation system turns right along with me - soaking everything in sight. As soon as we get into the kitchen - the place where Jack can do no damage, where he is free to pee - to pee like the wind; yes, as soon as we arrive in the promised land of non-carpeted floors.....

He stops.

Nice.