Tuesday, April 29, 2008

The J-Man Super Soaker Irrigation System Extraordinaire

Kurt got Jack out of the tub - I was in Jack's room getting his night time diaper and "keen jammie shut." I hear Kurt shout out "Jack's out! He's out!" I shout back "I'm on it" and head into the living room. I see Jack standing there with his naked little butt facing me. And then I see the it - actually I hear it before I see it. Pee-water shooting out of Jack in a perfect semi-circle arch that reached approximately 2 feet up into the air and hitting the floor (the carpeted floor) in a large puddle. I race toward him. Thinking only of the super-soaked pee spot on my carpet, I pick him up (his back was still to me) and decide to take him to the kitchen since that floor is not carpeted. Somewhere in my pee-spot-on-the-carpet obsessed mind, I had reasoned that as soon as I picked him up, the sprinkler system would disengage. Brilliant. Only after I picked him up did I discover the flaw in my thought process. Not only did he not shut off his super-soaker, he switched it into high gear - simultaneoulsy improving his distance and accuracy. Good grief. I'm still holding Jack out in front me, my arms are straight out in an effort to keep him as far away from me as I can, one hand under each one of his arms - his squirt gun facing away from me and still going strong (he's laughing out loud at this point). As I turn to go into the kitchen, Jack turns right along with me; more importantly his new found irrigation system turns right along with me - soaking everything in sight. As soon as we get into the kitchen - the place where Jack can do no damage, where he is free to pee - to pee like the wind; yes, as soon as we arrive in the promised land of non-carpeted floors.....

He stops.

Nice.

16 comments:

Roni said...

Gasp! Choke!! I'm struggling to climb back into my chair after laughing so hard!!!!

discomommy said...

Ha Ha Ha! Lovely!

Reminds me of the day Dylan was born. I was out of recovery and all the family had just left. In our first 5 minutes alone as a family Dylan pooped. Jon awkwardly did his duty. Right in the middle of the wiping, I began to vomit (I was very sick after surgery). Jon was torn between handing me the kidney shaped vomit bowl and holding tiny baby legs in the air. Then it happened, Dylan started peeing, straight up in the air...then around the room like a hose gone loose. I seriously thought Jon was going run from the room crying. I thought Dylan and I would be on our own forever. Thankfully he only shed a small tear and nobly got us both cleaned up. He's so rad!

Kristi said...

hilarious. you know jack did it on purpose, right? :o)

johnsonandjohnson said...

oh, crap...that made me laugh

Diane Davis said...

you are such a good story teller. i'll always be your biggest stalker. ;)

Stacey said...

Just be glad he was watering the carpet and not fertilizing it!

Billy said...

Nice picture. At least he doesn't know what he is doing yet. Travis peed in a bucket the other day instead of the toilet.

VikingMom said...

Billy forgot to mention that Travis not only peed in a bucket once...but twice. Also, his new phrase is: "Nakey, Nakey! Come to papa!" whenever he sees his brothers changing. Great. Just Great.

Stacey said...

Yes, the Travis-man has always liked to be nakey, nakey!!! Good times ahead! :)

Heidi said...

Okay - so the whole "come to papa" thing has me a little worried. Jack likes to run through the house screaming "naked baaabay!" but there's none of this come to papa business...

And Stacey - good grief I hadn't thought about fertilizer. I guess it could have been worse!

VikingMom said...

Heidi...it all started out with "Naked Baaaby" at our house.

Sorry to scare you.

Don said...

I must say none of my children or grandchildren (in my presence or to my knowledge) have "made water" anywhere accept the appropriate receptacles--well, not counting the bathtub. One of the perqs of the "pickle-free" gender.

However, when Kristi was a toddler she . . . well, never mind.

Roni said...

"Pickle-free??" HAHAHAHAHA!!!

Dan said...

It has been a while since either of my boys have watered anything in the house...but I do relate! When Matthew was a baby, twice while I was changing his diapers he watered my coffee cup...pretty good aim for being on his back! Oh, and I did put my coffee cup farther away the second time...that's my boy! :o)

Roni said...

Hey, Dan, I wonder how many times he watered your coffee cup when you DIDN'T notice????? :)

Dan said...

Roni...Now that is a scary thought! Thanks for that!! :o/