Thursday, May 26, 2011

Shopping with Idiots.

(DISCLAIMER: It is not my intent to offend the male popluation with this blog entry. I am merely re-capping a series of events - and my inablity to keep my mouth shut in the face of such events. Alright. You may proceed.)

I'm at Home Depot. I need to buy a couple props for a video shoot. The video is about a construction worker, so I need a vest and a hard hat.

I'm standing there, deliberating over which vest to get when I hear someone snickering behind me. I turn to look - and about 3 feet away from me are two guys. Just standing there, laughing.


Mr. Bigmouth grins at me, rolls his eyes and says, "Well would ya look at that. A chick. At a harware store. Buying CLOTHES. Typical."

Mr. Bigmouth's stunt double guffaws and says, "Yeah. Uh.... typical."

I give them a tight-lipped smile, and take a step toward them. I then remember my manners, turn on my heel and walk away.

Fast forward about 5 minutes.

I'm at the self-checkout line. I see that, in the next aisle over, Dumb and Dumber (aka Mr. Bigmouth and his stunt double) are also in a self-checkout line.

They are at their register - I am still waiting for the two people in front of me to take their turns.

The first person in my line finishes up and the line moves forward. Beavis and Butthead are still at their register. Apparently their purchase is taking a while.

The second person in line finishes up and it's now my turn. I glance over and and see that the Wonder Twins are still at war with their register.

I pay for my items, bag them up and begin walking toward the door. I look over and see that Bill & Ted are still trying to conquer their register and pay for their stuff (3 tubes of Liquid Nails and 2 tubs of spackle to be exact).

I walk over to them, stand about three feet away and just smile. They are arguing about how to use the register. It's clear that they can't figure out how to make a work.

They look up and I smile at them. I say, "Well would ya look at that. Two dudes. At a computer. And they don't know how to use it. Typical."

With that, I turn around and walk out; leaving them there to bask in their stupidity.

Look who's laughing now...