Christmas Confessions; part I

We're all gathered in the choir room at church getting last minute instructions before the first of 5 Christmas Eve Services begins. Everyone is quiet in an effort to hear what's being said.

One of the musicians/vocalists walks up to me holding a piece of black gaff tape and whispers, "Will you tape my pack?"

(For those of you who don't know what that means - we were wearing in-ear monitors and they had battery packs that clip to your pants, go in your pocket, etc. Often times the pack comes loose and you need to tape it down so it won't fall off).

I feel a little uncomfortable about it... He's young, single, super good-looking - and I'm old, happily married and not used to doing something like this.

But the look on his face tells me that he doesn't think it's a big deal. So, I agree and take the tape from him. He turns his back to me.

I grab the bottom of his shirt and lift it up to find the battery pack.

He reacts with great shock - arching his back and trying to jump away from me.

I'm confused.

He turns and looks at me and whisper-shouts "Noooooo! Tape my pack!"

I'm thinking, uh, yeah. That's what I'm trying to do. I look at him, shake my head and mouth the words - "No problem - turn around."

I can tell he's suddenly a little uncomfortable with the situation (as am I), so in order to get it over with as quickly as possible, I grab the bottom of shirt and yank it up - this time a little higher (I want to be sure I find the pack this time so I don't have to keep lifting his shirt up).

Once again - he reacts with great shock - recoiling from me as though I had just touched him with a piece of hot coal. He arches his back - throws his shoulders back and thrusts his hips forward like he's trying to limbo dance. He starts prancing around - clearly desperate to get away from me.

I'm thinking - "what is this guy's deal?? I'm trying to help him and here is making a scene in front of all these people - all while we're supposed to be listening to Curtis give us instructions. I mean, geez, I'm not exactly thrilled at the idea lifting up his shirt either - but if he wants his pack taped, that's what has to be done. Good grief - he asked me to do this - it's not like I'm just trying to get his shirt off."

He spins around and looks at me. His eyes are big. Mouth wide open.

He whisper-shouts "NNNNNO! What are you doing?! Tape my pack!"

At this point I'm over it and decide that he's insane. I look at him and hiss "I'm trying! I can't find it!"

His expression changes from shock and horror to total confusion.

He reaches out and grabs the tape from me and starts patting himself on the arm with it.

He whisper-shouts "I said, tape my BACK!"

As in - take the lint off.

Crap.

The color drains from my face and I start praying for death to take me.

I attempt to play it cool but I am coming up totally blank.

I simply respond with, "OOOOOOOh. You want me to tape your BACK!"

Sigh.....

When I walked into that room, I was a sweet pastor's wife.

When I walked out, I was Potiphar's wife.

(click here if you don't know about Potiphar's wife - she's a homewrecker in the Bible).

O Christmas Tree - Take 2

We're doing two Christmases this year; one on the 25th and one on the 2nd. So we need our tree to last through the 2nd.

It didn't.

We had decided that we would keep the dead/crispy/brown tree through Christmas day and go grab one the day after Christmas (hopefully for cheap or close to it) for our second celebration.

Kurt ran to Home Depot (where we got our first tree) and asked what they would be doing with their excess trees on the day after Christmas. He explained the whole story of why we need it to last, etc.

The manager told Kurt to bring the dead tree back today - and they would give us any tree on the lot for FREE. Hello!

So we took everything off the old tree, said our good-byes and brought home a beautiful, GREEN Noble fir.

Yay...

Blabbermouth

Kurt and Hope were cleaning the kitchen together.

Hope surveyed the scene and declared that there was simply not enough room in the dishwasher for all the dirty dishes.

Kurt's response was, "Well, we can wash the ones that won't fit."

Hope came back with, "No, let's do what Mom does."

Kurt was intrigued and asked, "What does Mom do?"

She replied with a shrug and a slight roll of her eyes, "She just crams everything in the oven."

Really? Christmas Cheer? Yeah.... Not feelin' it.

Not feeling the whole Christmassy, happy thing right now.

So I decided to focus on something that always makes me happy. My kids.

This Monday Hope and I are going to Disneyland, just the two of us. I'm very excited about it.

So as I'm sitting here fighting tears and trying to find the joy that I seemd to have misplaced - I started looking at old pictures - and found a bunch of me and Hope together.

Every one of them made me smile. Every one of them brought back a good memory.

So I'm posting them.

They probably won't do much for you, but that's okay.

They're doing a lot for me...

Hope, 4 months old

Hope, 8 months old

Hope, 14 months old

Hope, 2 years old

Hope, 3 years old

Hope, 4 years old

Hope, 5 years old

Hope, 6 years

Hope, 7 years old

Kurt.

Everything is so.... wow!

This is the look on Jack's face 97% of the time...

Everything is exciting to him.

Everything is worth talking and talking and talking about.

Everything gets a "WOW!" from him.

Everything is so new to him...

He makes so many old and mundane things new to me too.

And I'm thankful for that...

Santa's not feelin' the love...

Our kids have issues with Santa (Hope finally let go of her fear in 2005).

Have a look...

Jack, 2008
















Jack, 2007














Hope, 2004
















Hope, 2003





















Hope, 2002

Tip of the day; Part IV

If you come across an old diaper bag and it has a bad smell - just throw it away.

It's best if you don't try and clean it out. And you should avoid putting your hand in the bag without looking....

Yeah... it's definitely best if you just throw the bag away.

Tip of the day; Part III

To my gentelmen readers - hang on to this advice. It may save your life someday; or at the very least it will spare you from a really bad fight that she never totally lets go of.

Just ask my husband.

Okay, now for the Tip of the Day.

When your wife (who is 8 months pregnant) asks you for a foot-rub, it's best to just smile and do it.

You want to avoid saying something like:

(spoken with a big sigh and eyes rolling)

"Can't I just run out and get you an ice cream sandwhich instead?"

Yeah... it's definitely best to just smile and rub her feet.

Tip of the Day; Part II

If you're in the car with your boss, and he backs into a parked car, stay absolutely silent.

Avoid giggling (even a tiny little one).

You should also avoid saying things like, "You know, you should get help for that spacial awareness deficiency of yours." or,

"Hmmmm, ya know, your proximity alarm was going off, it's a shame you didn't listen to it." or,

"Hey, let me know when you're leaving tonight so I can be sure to go out and move my car first."

Yeah... it's definitely best if you just stay absolutely silent.

Tip of the day; Part I

Two year olds don't need maracas.

You should avoid equipping them with maracas at all cost (especially when you have a splitting headache).

Two year olds are loud.

Maracas make them louder.

Yeah... Two year olds definitely don't need maracas.

I think it's perfectly normal; Part XIII

I love to walk down Main street (at Disneyland) when everyone is lined up for the parade and wave to them like I'm walking the red carpet.

And I don't do the whole celebrity wave either. You know, the whole elbow, elbow, wrist, wrist, wrist thing.

No, no.

You have to get a happy, dreamy, far-off expression on your face, make sure that you're lit nicely (lighting that gives off a soft filter sort of look is preferred; it helps to look at the lights - not directly into them, but just off to the right or left of them), stick your arm straight up and out (like a 45 degree angle) and move your hand from left to right.

And then count how many people wave back.

You know you've fooled them into thinking you're something of a big deal when they lean over to their friends, say something very excitedly, point at you and then wave back with expressions of great awe on their faces.

Hey, don't knock it.

It's entertaining and it's free (Well, it's only free at Disney if you have a Disney pass - but this can be done at ANY parade).

I think it's perfectly normal; Part XII

I swallow chewing gum.

And please, it does not take 7 years to digest (click here for more info)

Please try back during normal, business hours.

So lately I've been struggling with some stuff and have felt pretty much on my own spiritually.

I'm somewhat embarassed to say that it's not an uncommon struggle for me. But, on the upside, at least I'm still willing to struggle with it and I haven't given up completely.

I was looking through some old files on my computer last night, and I found this song setup that I did 3 years ago. It was a good reminder for me and I thought I'd share it.

I hope these type of posts don't come across as preachy - that isn't my intent. I just want to share my struggles and hope that they serve as encouragement for someone. So many of you have shared your struggles/victories with me and I have come away encouraged and uplifted. I hope that I can do the same for you.

Great Is Thy Faithfulness – 2005
Hope loves to look at Christmas lights. When she was little there was one house in our neighborhood that had one of those lighted Nativity Scenes. Every time we were out driving at night, we had to drive by it. We would turn onto our street and she would pipe up “I want to go Baby Jesus’ house and talk to Baby Jesus!” So we would always drive by, stop for a second and she would say night-night to Baby Jesus.

Well, one night we were coming home and we started down the street for Baby Jesus’ house – but when we got there, the lights weren’t on. I started to explain that maybe the people who lived there weren’t home or something but Hope interrupted with a dramatic proclamation: “Oh NO! We can’t talk to Jesus!”

Intrigued as to how she arrived at this bizarre theological conclusion, I asked her why we couldn’t talk to him.

She replied with a wail, “because Momma! He’s closed!”

There have been lots of times in my life when it felt like God was closed – like I was on my own. I’m not talking about times when I was going through something really difficult, I’m talking about just normal, everyday life. God felt different – He felt far-away. But, if I’m being totally honest with myself, I can see that the difference wasn’t with God – it was with me. I had stopped talking to Him. I wasn't spending any time with Him. I hadn't worked to keep Him in my life.

No wonder He felt so far away. I pushed Him there.

God’s faithfulness doesn’t change. He provides us with everything we need: His mercy, strength to get through today and the hope that we need to face whatever tomorrow holds. We serve a faithful God, we can always count Him and we can rest assured that He’s never closed.

An old favorite...

Came across this photo of Hope taken in December of 2004. It's always been a favorite of mine...

It's the most wonderful time of the year... Except when you're dealing with this:

Behold, the task currently topping Kurt's "To Do" list.

Does anyone want to tell him for me?

Um, seriously? Is that really necessary?

Why is it that when children are playing with toys that are clothed (dolls, stuffed animals, Mr. Potato Head, etc), the first thing they do is strip the toy down?

Seriously, what is that about?