Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Sakes alive, I'm 35.

Today is my birthday.

Wheeee.....

So for my 35th birthday I thought I’d list 35 questions that I would really like answered.

These questions are not so much meant to inspire you, to wow you, or to challenge you….

They’re just meant to convey the fact that my mind is something of a frighteningly random place.

OH. One more thing – a little thing really...

I would really like 35 comments on this post for my 35th birthday.

No pressure or anything.

I’m just sayin’…. ya know…. it’d be nice.

35....

Hey it could be worse. If people ask me how old I'm turning, I tell them that I'm turning 76. That way they'll think, "wow, she looks really good!" So, I could be asking for 76 comments. But I'm not. I'm just asking for 35.

35....

Anyway! On with the questions.

1. Why do people think that swaying their arm back and forth would change the direction of a bowling ball?
2. Why is it that on a phone or calculator the number five has a little dot on it?
3. If a bald person works as a chef at a restaurant, do they have to wear a hairnet?
4. Do prison buses have emergency exits?
5. If parents say, "Never take candy from strangers" then why do we celebrate Halloween?
6. Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?
7. How come lemon scented liquid soap contains real lemons, but lemon juice contains artificial flavorings?
8. If there's a speed of sound and a speed of light is there a speed of smell?
9. What do Greeks say when they don't understand something?
10. Why do people say "heads up" when you should duck?
11. Why is it that no matter what color bubble bath you use the bubbles are always white?
12. Why do superheros wear their underwear on the outside of their clothes?
13. What do people in China call their good plates?
14. How come toy hippos are always blue, or purple, when real hippos are brown?
15. Why do British people never sound British when they sing?
16. Why do we press the start button to turn off the computer?
17. If you had a three story house and were in the second floor, isn't it possible that you can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time?
18. Why are the numbers on a calculator and a phone reversed?
19. How come you can kill a deer and put it up on your wall, but it's illegal to keep one as a pet?
20. If prunes are dehydrated plums, where does prune juice come from?
21. What is another word for "thesaurus”?
22. If you try to fail and succeed, what have you done?
23. Why is the time when the traffic is slowest called rush-hour?
24. If your vacuum cleaner really sucks, is it a bad thing?
25. Why are they called stands when there made for sitting?
26. If the #2 pencil the most popular, why is it still #2?
27. Why do they announce power outages on TV?
28. Why do you press harder on the remote-control when you know the battery is dead?
29. Why are buildings called buildings when there finished? Shouldn't they be called builts?
30. Why is abbreviated such a long word?
31. Why is it that when you tell a man there are 400 billion stars he will believe you, but when you tell him there's wet paint he has to touch it?
32. Whose cruel idea was it to put a 'S' in 'lisp'?
33. Do you find it unnerving that what doctors do is called 'practice'?
34. If a turtle doesn't have a shell is it homeless or naked?
35. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

52 comments:

shana said...

Happy, happy birthday! Have a wonderful day (and a great Thanksgiving while you're at it!) Loved the questions, I was going to try and pick a favorite but couldn't.
Enjoy your day!
Blessings!
Shana

Rick said...

Happy Birthday. Steven Wright would love your questions. I think the one about the phone is so that blind people can dial easily, but that obviously wouldn't apply to the calculator. Why do we park on the driveway and drive on the parkway? If you could travel at the speed of light would your headlights work? If you shoot a mime, do you need a silencer?

johnsonandjohnson said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I was going to be a smarty pants and write that 35 times, but I figured you would be sad. So, here's me wishing that you get 32 more comments and that you have a WONDERFUL day!!!!

VikingMom said...

Ahh...dang it! Rick took my answer. As for the rest...it's all greek to me! :)

So you're a year old, but still younger than me. You keep trying to catch up with me but you never will--hopefully we'll keep this race going on until we're 100! Happy Birthday!

VikingMom said...

Oops! That should read a "year older" not a "Year old". If you were only a year old I would be amazed at your verbal ability...then again, you are an amazing person.

Brazenlilly said...

This is your birthday song. It isn't very long. HEY!

World of Wright said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!! Good questions too. I never thought about the hippo thing before. No wonder kids are so confused these days.

hbmommy said...

Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear Heidi, happy birthday to you!

Michelle said...

Happy Birthday, lovely! Gosh, 35 SOUNDS so old but we now know better, don't we?

The Unlikely Pastor's Wife said...

Happy Day!!!!!

Kristi said...

What's up Birthday Girl?

Here is my question...Do you lose your legs and turn into a balloon when you turn 35?

I'm confused on your pic! :)

I love you...have a fabulous day. And stop cleaning for a few minutes.

KT

Kurt said...

Happy Birthday from across the World Wide Web... and the living room.

Sarah B. said...

Happy Birthday Heidi!
KT had me laughing..but seriously, what's with the crazy picture.

Sarah B. said...

Oh yeah...and I know the answer the the pencil question. First is the worst, second is the best....so it has to be the #2.

Heidi said...

Okay - the picture. I always love to find really cool, off the wall pictures - and I thought this one fit the bill.

I LOVE it! It's so bizarre. She looks so non-festive. I love everything about it.

AND, I wanted someone who I could beat in a beauty contest. I'm no traffic-stopper, but I feel pretty confident that I could win a looks contest against a round woman/balloon in a pea green dress.

Brazenlilly said...

I'm adding another one to get you closer. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

amyeneal said...

I just want to ask why you are so funny!! That was a great list! Did you come up with them all????
Happy Birthday!!! I hope you reach your 35 comments!!!!

Don said...

Ok, what the heck were you doing posting at 3:30 in the morning????? You really DO want to soak up every minute of your birthday, don't you?

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!

Don said...

Oh yeah...my great, great, great uncle Arnold (on my mother's side) is the one who put the "s" in lisp. It was really an improvement. The original 3rd letter of the word was an "f".

johnsonandjohnson said...

Don't

johnsonandjohnson said...

Make

johnsonandjohnson said...

Me

johnsonandjohnson said...

Do

johnsonandjohnson said...

It!!!

johnsonandjohnson said...

Now you only need 10 more

VikingMom said...

By the way, you are beautiful...don't sell yourself short! (Not a traffic stopper...my foot! I've seen how Kurt swoops you up into his arms--do you think he'd do that if you weren't?) So suck it up and believe it: You're gorgeous dahling!

VikingMom said...

Not that I meant to paint Kurt as a shallow person or anything. I was just making a point. I think.

VikingMom said...

There...now you only need 7 more comments after this one.

Don said...

Also, since I live in a 3-story home, the answer to question 17 is YES...you most certainly can be upstairs and downstairs at the same time. It's a rather schizophrenic way to be, but it's all in the state of mind.

Don said...

Kurt's NOT shallow? Oh...who knew? JUST KIDDING!

carriebu said...

oh my gosh...you just make me laugh!!! I love it! Hope your day was good and hope you reach your 35!!

Billy said...

I commented on facebook.

Billy said...

I wasn't trying to be rude, only to add to your comment number. Have a great 2 hours left in your birthday.

Anonymous said...

Those are great questions! I love, 6, 13, 18, 22 and some others, but I forgot those numbers! Happy Birthday! Brandi

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I'm your 35th comment! Happy Birthdy again...good luck cooking tomorrow! Brandi

wickedwango said...

Heidi, I love your blogs; always makes me laugh! Hope your birthday was awesome!

Sarah B. said...

Seriously...you are totally loved Heidi. It is 10:18 pm and I am getting ready to go to bed but before I go to bed I had to check and make sure you had 35 comments...you made it!
And you are gorgeous!

Don said...

OK, you're two over. I'm taking 2 back.

Heidi said...

Oh I'm afraid I can't let you do that.

Rick said...

I logged on in case you didn't make it to 35. Too late. So my comment is the 40th. That's Biblically significant. My pastor says so.

SingingShrink said...

Wow, you're.......old......just kidding! Heck, I'm less than a decade away from 35 myself. In fact, I shocked myself the other day with the thought that I'm closer to thirty than 20. Never occurred to me before...Anyway, I hope your birthday has been great and that you found more positive things about getting another candle added to your life cake (wisdom and all that junk) than negative stuff (tucking your woman stuff into your pants like my grandma used to do, etc.). Hope you found time to smile! Have a great thanksgiving too. See you soon.

Don said...

For a psychologist, that Pate guy needs to learn a thing or two about appropriate commenting. Heidi, if you want to t-p his apartment or anything, I'm game. If he thinks YOU'RE old he must be cackling about MY age!!!! I say we raid today, Thanksgiving or no Thanksgiving! :)

VikingMom said...

Robbie...please elaborate...what's woman stuff?

VikingMom said...

And what exactly, is the procedure for stuffing it in your pants?

The Unlikely Pastor's Wife said...

since you have 44 comments, does that make you 44 years old and not 35?

Heidi said...

CRAP! I didn't think of that... Oh well, anything worth doin' is worth doin' big. Think I can make it to 76?

Anonymous said...

Don't want to bring you down...but according to the Bible, your life is half over! Ahhhhh! (That's a horrible scream!) You are such a character and loved by so many, that I'll bet your next 35 are even better than the first!

*Jane said...

Alright Lovely, I've got an answer for you and that question about bald people and hair nets. lol Well, it's actually a story. So, the other day, I went out to Wendy's with a friend and her daughter. This young girl is quite particular about her burger..well, burgers. We ordered and sat down, prayed, and dug in. She got through one and then a couple bites into the next there was the DREADED hair. :P (( gags a little )) She gave it to her mom and asked her to go up and have them remake it. My friend went to the couter and did so. She came back to the table with a new one. The girl opened the paper and there, on the NEW burger, was ANOTHER hair; yes, there, on the bun! LOL So after freaking out a bit, my friend returned to the counter..and from the back of the restaurant, which isn't too big, but big enough, we hear her mom say, "Can someone without HAIR make another burger!?!?" LOL We were laughing histarically and ducking behind the planter attached to our booth. My friend comes back, and drops the burger lol on the table and says in a monotone voice, "There, the manager made it. He's bald!" Oh. My. Gosh. So dang funny! lol And hope that answers your question. hahahaha

Diane Davis said...

how did i miss this whole post? it's days later and i missed out on then fun AND wasn't here for you. sorry bout that. maybe next year you could plan your bday when i'm not so busy.

Diane Davis said...

and now you just hit 50.

Lisa P said...

Heidi,

I'm so late in reading this that you may not even see my comment, but since I'm married to a Greek, I had to chime in.

What do Greeks say? It never happens. They know everything. =)

Happy Late Birthday!

Mrs. Clutter said...

It's more than a year past your 35th, but I still want to say happy day to you!

Thank you for all of the laughs. I'd like to add a couple of ???s myself.

1. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
2. If fortune tellers are so good, why do you have to call to make an appointment? Shouldn't they know that you're going to be showing up?