Sunday, November 23, 2008

A Sad Goodbye...

Jack is two and a half and still takes a bottle when he goes to bed at night.

I know, I know.

He's too old for that. I should have weened him off the bottle a long time ago. It's bad for his teeth. It's bad for his development. It's bad for everything.

But he loves it. It's soothing, it relaxes him, it's part of his routine. Trying to get him off it has been really difficult.

Well, we decided that yesterday was the day. No more bah-bah.

Nap time was fine. Going to bed last night was questionable, but ended just fine.

Until about 2:45 AM.

Jack woke up very upset. He was crying, "Momma! I want a bah-bah in my bed to make it better." I went in his room and held him for a little bit. He just cried and said, "I just want to feel better. I need a bah-bah."

Oh man.

It was horrible. He wasn't pitching a fit. He wasn't screaming.

He was crying very quietly.

He was sad.

He didn't understand why something that he'd always been allowed to have, something that had always brought him comfort was suddenly forbidden.

At the risk of sounding melodramatic (yeah, something new and different for me), it was like he was crying over the loss of a friend.

I wanted to explain it to him. I wanted him to understand that he's too old for a bottle. That he's a big boy now - that he can't take a bottle forever. That this is what's best for him...

But how do you do that with a two and a half year old little boy who only understands that he's hurting and sad? He knows that you have the power to make it all better and you're not doing anything but letting him suffer.

How do you explain that? How do you get him to see that this is what's best?

You don't....

I held him for about a half hour until he finally said he wanted to go back to bed. I got up from the rocking chair to put him in his bed and he said, "Momma I wait in my bed and you go get me a bah-bah."

Oh my sweet Jack.

I whisper, "No honey, no more bah-bahs. I'm sorry baby - you need to go night-night."

Lower lip sticks out, he turns his head and buries his face in his blanket and says, "Why momma why! I just want to feel better!"

Big tears.

And the whole thing starts over again.

So sad...

Today we had a ceremony. A "Throwing Away of All the Bottles in the Entire House" Ceremony. We all sat around the table and each of us held a bottle. We each took a turn asking Jack if we were babies. When he said, "No! You're not a baby!" he took the bottle away from us and threw it in the trash. He went around the table - Daddy, Mommy, Hope.

Finally it was his turn. We asked him if he was a baby. He said, "I not a baby, I a big boy!" and he threw the bottle in the trash as hard as he could.

We all cheered and then took him out for ice cream.

I hope tonight is better...


Diane Davis said...

what an awesome story! not the crying part, but the ceremony. love it!

my mother tells me i loved my bottles until i went to preschool. when told i could not go to school with a bottle, i said Ok, no school. so my mother put a hole in the bottom of all of them, then acted surprised when they leaked. it was all i needed and no more bottle.

funny the things parents have to do that actually work!

sweet jack.

Anonymous said...

Oh man, I feel your pain! That's how I felt when we took away Claire's pacifier ("Bebe"). I felt so awful about taking away her comfort! I hope tonight goes better for you! I love the ceremony, we had one for "bebe" as well! You did the right thing : )


Don said...

That's such a sweet story. Poor little guy. I hope your night goes well! Sorry he had to experience the trauma.

My father-in-law was born shortly before the Depression. He actually remembers NURSING. (He would have been weaned sooner, but in a family with 5 kids, using mother's milk was a way to save grocery money.) I don't even want to think about what THAT behavior modification was like!!!!

shana said...

how'd it go?
we had a similar reaction (with jacob & rebekah) when getting rid of their nuks.
now if i could only figure out how to "throw away" lydia's thumb!!!!

Lyn said...

Awww. . .That's so sad and sweet at the same time. I hope everything went well last night.

VikingMom said...

Great Ceremony! Maybe Kurt can work this into a new children's ministry book or lesson plan. :) I hope the bottle detoxification goes smoothly for you the rest of the week.

World of Wright said...

How cool for Jack! He beat his chest like King Knog and trashed the bottle like a MAN. Let the man grunting begin!

johnsonandjohnson said...

Poor Jack, but yay for parenting! What a great idea for the ceremony!

I still have the pacifier and bottle to wean---so this gave me a heads up to not wait too much longer!

The Unlikely Pastor's Wife said...

Yay for him for "being a big boy".
what a sweet little story, but I couldn't help but think that if you changed the 2 year old to an adult it could have been a drug detox story.

I know....I have a warped mind.
Congrats on the successful ceremony!

Kristi said...

Sorry it was sad... but I love the ending...what a fun ceremony. I don't think I will ever be able to break Lexi from her night-night. Hope her husband is okay with it one day. :)

edie said...

Such a sweet story! I love the ceremony. I'll have to keep this in mind when I decide to break Lucy of her pacifier. I can't even think about going there yet.

Michelle said...

So hard- When I got pregnant with Sarah, Aaron was 16 mos old and still waking up every 2 hours to nurse. I was so done, and he wouldn't take a bottle. I went to ladies retreat for a weekend, and left him with Michael. When I got home, Michael kept laughing. He finally told me that the first night I was gone, he woke up and Aaron was sitting next to him in bed. He pulled down the covers and poked him in the chest. Then he covered him back up, laid down and went back to sleep. When I got home, he was weaned. Easiest one of the three.