Friday, November 28, 2008

Reporting back on the Thanksgiving Day Shenanigans


Well, Thanksgiving dinner came and went without any of the following:

1. Trips to the hospital because of food poisoning
2. Uncontrollable gagging due to slimey stuffing and gelatinous gravy
3. Burns on the chest from a turkey baster explosion
4. Burnt on, caked on, stuck on Stove-Top all over the inside of the microwave because I misread the instructions and cooked it without a lid
5. Missing fingers from chopping vegetables
6. Heimlich maneuvers due to overly dry turkey
7. Salmonella due to overly moist turkey
8. Fights with Kurt over the fact that the kitchen isn't big enough for the two of us
9. Mashed potatoes that could be mistaken for wet cement
10. A dog (his parents' dog) that had to be rushed to the vet because he ate too many table scraps (because everyone was slipping him the food off their plates so they wouldn't have to eat it).

So I'd say it was a good day.

Thank you to everyone who gave me advice - everything went smoothly. The only thing that was mildly troubling was this thing here:

Kurt used this to inject the juices back into the turkey to make it more moist. Look at the size of that needle! Hello!

Anyway, when he shot it up, the injection site would swell up and move around like the belly on a pregnant woman. I half expected turkey to explode and the thing from the Alien movies to come shooting out of it. FREAKY. And a few times when Kurt would stick the needle in, the juice came shooting back out at Kurt - which could have been pretty bad if it had hit him... So he would shoot it in, and juice would come spraying out of the turkey from a a prior injection spot.

See, this is why I don't cook.

I have to say, I feel like I'm jipping you all out of some good stories. The day was wonderful - but uneventful.

The most noteworthy event took place prior to the Thanksgiving festivities. For those of you on Facebook, you already know this story. It was early in the morning so I was still in my pajamas. Kurt and I were both in the kitchen and I was trying to rinse out the sink. We have one of those faucets that pulls out like a hose.

It was stuck.

And the water was on.

So I kept pulling.

As hard as I could.

Well, it came loose and sprayed me down with blinding fury. Water everywhere. My clothes were soaked.

Did I mention I was still in my pajamas?

I dropped a few choice words.

Kurt looked at me and started shouting, "WooHOOO, spring break!"

Nice.

All in all, it was a great day. I hope you all had a great day too!!

9 comments:

VikingMom said...

Congrats on surviving what you thought would be a nightmarish day. As for shooting up your turkey, I dunno about that. Is that even legal? Maybe it's a good thing you ate it before it ended up in rehab! LOL

johnsonandjohnson said...

YAY! I'm glad that it was successful. I have yet to make a turkey---so, my hat is off to you!

Heidi said...

Oh Jen, I should clarify. I haven't made a turkey yet either. Kurt did the turkey; Kurt's mom did the gravy, the sweet potatoes, and the rolls and I did the rest.

So it takes a village...

Kurt said...

you failed to mention that injecting the juices back into the turkey breast made it probably the juiciest and most flavorful turkey ever!

Kurt said...

EVER!

Heidi said...

Oh and also, we used juice from the turkey to make the Stove Top instead of water.

That made the stuffing yummier than ever.

EVER.

That was Kurt's idea... he has all the good ideas.

johnsonandjohnson said...

yum...

Anonymous said...

Glad you had a GREAT day!!! Our bird was yummy too, I'll try to post a pic on FB. Brandi PS, I had missed the "kitchen sink" incident! Too funny!

Diane Davis said...

next year i suggest going to disneyland and skipping the cooking. you can even get a turkey leg injected with yumminess for a mere $6. :)