Saturday, July 11, 2009

Refrigerator Revelations (GROSS)

I think that one of the reasons we go through difficult experiences is so that we can help others either avoid the same situations - or at least help them if they are going through a similar situation.

That's what this entry is about. It's me helping you. Warning you, if you will.

(Read on at your own peril and don't judge me).

The following is a list of things I learned while cleaning out my refrigerator:

  1. Moldy asparagus juice pooling in the bottom of your refrigerator smells worse than asparagus pee.
  2. If the expiration date on the deli sliced ham says 2/15/09, don't sniff it to make sure it's really bad; just trust that it is in fact, really, really bad.
  3. Juice left behind by a bag of rotting radishes has epoxy (very strong adhesive) like qualities.
  4. The jar of jam that was given as a gift in 2005 will become a permanent fixture on the second shelf if it's left sitting in the epoxy resin created by the rotting radishes.
  5. When stray baby carrots get left behind in the produce tray, they shrivel up and look like funny, little orange raisins.
  6. Three-year-old little boys get excited about little orange raisins - until they try one...
  7. The only thing that smells worse than the garbage bag full of rotting produce, runny leftover tuna casserole from Father's Day and the mystery meat from February is that same garbage bag after it's been sitting in the hot garage for two days.
  8. Cleaning one's refrigerator on a full stomach when you have a sensitive, trigger-happy gag reflex is a terrible, terrible idea.
I hope that the wisdom I have imparted on you has been helpful.

Thank you for this opportunity to share.


Rick said...

Think of how much worse it would be if you had the task and it was someone else's refrigerator. Kind of like babysitting someone else's non-potty-trained toddler. Not that that has ever happened to me. One we have learned that you are welcome to pass along--when you put an unopened coke in the freezer to cool faster, don't forget about it. The explosions are quite colossal.

shana said...

Enjoy the rest of the weekend!

Anonymous said...

The only thing worse than that is cleaning out the refrigerator at work--you can't tell what "it" was in the first place because you aren't the one who put it there in the first place. Yuk and double Yuk!
Jane Van Ryn

World of Wright said...

Another title for this blog should be "Things They Don't Teach in Home Economics But Should".
This could make a great blog series!

Anonymous said...

My fridge had stopped working, but we didn't realize it until the kids were eating breakfast and said that the milk tasted funny. The thermometer read 67 degrees. We were having a party in 2 days with about 50 people coming, and everything in the fridge was bad. I know all about the smells, nothing was cold anymore, it was all room temperature. I feel your pain.

Monique Bare

Kay said...

I cleaned my fridge out a couple of days ago. Unlike most of what I pulled, drained, and dredged out of there, I can readily identify (with) your observations.

Anonymous said...

Come on people...what about the cucumber "juice"? The radishes was good to get the heads up about as I've started using them, excuse me, buying them more. I'm just going to go wipe my eyes now from the tears of laughter after reading this.