Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Okay Friends, I Really Need Your Help on this...

Okay friends, readers, lurkers, I desperately need some help with this one....

Jack (my 3 year old son) refuses to poop on the toilet. He'll go potty - no problem at all. But when it comes to poop, he's as stubborn as the day is long.

He'll hide somewhere.... I'll catch him - trying to poop in his underwear. I'll take him to the toilet and sit him on it.

He will sit there and scream for a half hour - and never take a poop.

This will go on for days.

Until finally, he will wait till bedtime (when he gets a pull-up) - and poop in his pull-up.

This has been the pattern for the last 3 months.

And here's a little something to make it more fun:

He's supposed to start preschool on September 9th. He can't go unless he's fully potty trained.

I need your help.

We may not know each other.

You may not like to comment on people's blogs.

But please.

I need some advice!


Anonymous said...

Heidi, Is school important to him? Is he excited about it? Does he know that he can't be in school until he does poop in the potty? Can Hope encourage him, since she is in school and loves it? Just some thoughts. Lucille

Anonymous said...

One thing we did with my son is he had to go on the toilet consistently and once he was there we had a special toy for him that he was able to open and play with. This was a toy he really wanted and he could see it, but it was on a high shelf where he could not reach. If once he received the toy and went back to his old habits, then back up on the shelf it went for another week or two until he was fully trained.
Good luck!

Anonymous said...

whoops! I commented on Fb...sorry!

hbmommy said...

OK, well.....Kaleb went through a poop thing after we thought he was potty trained. I would let him be in his poopy underwear for a little while...long enough for him to be annoyed.

As far as school, I would bet he won't poop at school...as long as he's peeing ok I bet he'll be fine. Also, when he realizes no one else is pooping in their undies he may decide not to, either.

Good luck :)

Anonymous said...

I would guess he isn't going to poop at school, so I wouldn't worry about it. Also, I say don't make a big deal about the poop thing. It is all about control and he has total control over that one. Just give him a reward, something you can get a bunch of and put in a box and that he really wants. Then, whenever he tries to poop he can play with one and if he actually goes poop he gets to keep it. No pressure. Good luck
ps remember ALL of the kids at preschool have accidents so don't worry

Anonymous said...

Ask him what he needs.


Diane Davis said...

i know nothing about this because i am not a mother. the only thing i do know is that poop can be related to anxiety... and if he is picking up on your anxiety then it could be impacting him. so i would say, mirror calm about the whole potty training thing and it will come. in the scheme of things, this will work itself out. i'm not trying to minimize, just pointing out that jack won't be ten and refusing the toilet...

Diane Davis said...

... ps... do i get a sticker on the sticker chart for leaving a blog comment?... i know how you like this... :)

Kristi said...

i wish i could help.

we dealt with the same thing for months.

until one day i went to home depot and curtis called me and told me lexi pooped. so...i could send curtis over, and you and i could go to home depot?

that's all i got....

cuz' Lord knows we tried EVERYTHING else.

shana said...

I was living through this exact same thing exactly a year ago with Joe. This might or might not be what you want to hear . . . because it means the whole mess is totally out of your hands, but with Joe literally about 4 days into preschool he just decided to do it one day and has been doing it ever since. I don't even think we've had a single accident. Those first couple days I just sent him in a pull-up to preschool and told them he was "just about there" and they were ok with it, even though he was supposed to be totally trained. He never did poop at school, I don't think. He always saved it for me :) but he did eventually just figure it out on his own. All my stress and worry and "trying" did not a bit of good in the end.
Hope all goes well!
Hang in there!
Shana (mother of 4 no-longer-wearing-diaper kiddos . . . and one who still does. But she's only 16 months, so give her a break!)

Sarah B. said...

I have no advice since Ethan pooped in his pants until he was 4....seriously. He did the same thing...and it got to the point where I would leave him in his poopy pants hoping it would gross him out. I never put pull ups on and bought LOTS of underwear and just tossed them out. I sent him to preschool and totally told them he was potty trained. He had maybe 3 or 4 accidents and than just started going in the toilet. Send him to school and act naive? :)

StephanieJ said...

Heidi - I don't have any advice...just company! Isaac is four and a half and poop is still a drama for us. He doesn't poop in his pants - he just refuses, REFUSES to go poop until he is literally bursting at the seams - toots flying everywhere, poop smear issues...drama. I don't get it. I have friends who have boys who are 6, 7, 8 + and they still have problems with boys holding it too long, tummy aches from needing to poop, etc.
I agree with what others said about not worrying about the poop thing and school. From my experience teaching preschool and grades on up from that - kids NEVER poop at school. VERY rarely. He will just hold it until he is home and then you get to deal with it! :) As long as he is potty trained he's good to go.

We still bribe Isaac with 7 M&M's each time he goes poop on the toilet!

World of Wright said...

My first though was rub his nose in it.
I have no business giving parenting advice.

Anonymous said...

Like your son, I had the same issue with my son. He was going to be going to Playshop and the rule was that he could not come unless he was potty trained.

When the time came, I took him to the "open house" and explained to the teachers that he was in a pull up and they said that he could stay as long as he didn't have an accident while at school. I explained this to my son and he miraculously stopped having accidents. I believe part of it was because he was around other people his age and size and saw that they were "trained" and he jumped on the band wagon. I hope that is the situation for you as well. Hang in there!

SingingShrink said...

I'm with "Anonymous" on this one. Pooping is definitely about control, and I'm wondering if he feels like there is anything else he has control over all by himself? I like the idea of giving him something as a reward for "choosing" to poop.