Borax Sparklies

I love sparkly things.

I love inexpensive things.

I love making things (as long as they're easy).

I REALLY love making sparkly things that are inexpensive (and easy).

So I give you (drumroll please):   The Borax Sparklies!

This will come as a shock - but this idea came from Pinterest.  The kids and I made these at Christmas too - but I especially love the Valentine sparklies.

And they're actually easy!  All you do is make some pipe cleaner shapes and let them soak overnight in a water/Borax solution.

Here's how:

Take pipe cleaners and make them into the shapes you want.  

Since they have to hang suspended in water overnight, I attached them to a pencil (a popsicle stick would work fine too).  I used fishing line and scotch tape to attach them.

Also - I put them in empty jars first to make sure that the shape will fit in the jar without touching the sides or the bottom.

Once you're ready to submerge the pipecleaners, fill a mason jar with hot (super hot) water and add a half to a three-quarters  cup of Borax to it.  Important: If you use something bigger than a mason jar (I used some empty hurricane lamps) use more Borax.  The sparklies come from the Borax so you want to make sure that you're solution isn't too watered down.

ASIDE:  Apparently Borax is like this crazy good household cleaner.  I wouldn't know about such things since I'm not the best housekeeper...)  

Anyway!  Stir up the Borax really good and then submerge your pipecleaner shape into the water.  Be sure not to let it touch the sides or the bottom or it will get stuck.  

Let them sit, fully submerged and undisturbed overnight.

The next day, carefully remove them from the water and voila!!  A SPARKLY!!!  (can't you just hear them sparkling - sheen! sparkle, sparkle!!)

They look beautiful hanging from a chandelier or in a window.  When the sun hits them, they really sparkle!

They also make cute little gift wrap accessories.

Here's the site where I first saw the idea.

Couple things that I've found with these....  Sometimes they come out without any crystals on them.  I think that happens when you don't use enough Borax - or when you disturb them while they're soaking.  Be sure to use lots of Borax, and once you submerge them, don't touch them until the next day when it's time to take them out.

Also, after a few months, the crystals will turn all white and powdery.  I just toss them at that point and make new ones.

Sparkle on, friends!

Crap-Tastic Crap Baskets!

So I got another idea off Pinterest.  This one is brilliant I tell you, BRILLIANT!  Now, typically, whenever I attempt to mimic a craft or a recipe I've seen online, the outcome is.... shall we say..... less than what is seen on the internet.

You'll notice that I just said "less."  I didn't say how or, in what way it was less.  The reason is because it's just less.  It's just freakin' LESS.  In EVERY way.  Less attractive, less tasty, less cost effective and certainly less easy.  (click here to see a sad and dark example of my experience with "Less").

My projects simply never turn out the way they look online.

Until this one.

This one, I dare say, turned out just as good and I'm super thrilled!

First let me give credit where credit is due.  I found a wonderful blog, filled with all sorts of fun ideas - and I took the Crap Basket idea from her.  If you get a chance, check out her blog - it's wonderful.

Okay, so on to the project.  First, the backstory.

We live in a smallish house - certainly big enough for us to be comfortable - while at the same time -certainly small enough for us to get buried alive in our clutter.  I can't count the number of hours I've spent hauling various pieces of clutter to their proper places.

But all of that is about to change.

Allow me to introduce, the Crap Basket.

Every member of the family has one.  Throughout the day as I (or anyone else) comes across someone else's crap, they pick it up and put it in the respective Crap Basket.  Sadly, I've had to change the name of these to Junk Baskets.  I don't have any issue with the word, Crap - but I don't want my 5 year old son to get a color change at school for saying Crap.  (Even though I've given up any hope at being named Mother of the Year, I still have to put forth the illusion that I'm an ongoing contender for the title).

Hope and I made them together and they were really easy (and even pretty cheap). I got the baskets for 75% at Michaels.

And then I bought little oval shaped woodies for .89 each and the pack of stencils was $3.  And then of course I had to add the daisy clips for .99 each.  The daisies are my attempt to make them look a little more feminine (the baskets felt a little masculine to me, what with the name crap and being brown and all)...

Hope painted the woodies and I did the stenciled letters.  Then I just hot glued them to the baskets along with the flowers and voila! Craptastic Crap Baskets!

We had a family meeting and told the kids that they have to empty their basket each night before bed and bring it back to the living room.  Of course, where they put the crap in their room is a different story (hey, we have to crawl before we can walk...).  

The kids are actually excited about picking up their crap!  Of course I realize that the novelty will soon wear off, but hey.  I'm going to bask in this moment as long as I can.

2011 - A Year in Review

 

Okay, here is is....  The 2011 Recap of this crazy family - as told by our (mine and Kurt's) Facebook status updates.  
 
(Please don't judge....)



JANUARY
I’m watching a fight take place between Kurt and the Blue-Ray player.  The issue is over the volume.  The bass just got so loud that the windows are about to shatter.  Kurt just threw down and said he would have to ((gulp)) read.the.manual.  Blue-Ray player: 1; Kurt: 0.
 
Today’s word of encouragement:  No matter how much you love and care for an animal, given the opportunity, it would eat you.
 
Want to give a shout out to the uber-creepy guy in the parking garage (the DARK and ABANDONED parking garage) who thought it would be helpful to RUN DIRECTLY AT ME to let me know that the dome light in my car was still on (you know, the kind that shuts off automatically).  Thank you also for not taking it personally when my “gratitude” included the phrase “stinkin’ idiot.”
 
FEBRUARY
Hope’s friend Mia is spending the night.  Jack just proposed to her.
 
Hope and I were driving home from church.  Kurt and Jack pull up beside us at a stop light.  Kurt gives me the “I’m so awesome” look.  The light turns green and we drive away.  Hope asks what the look was about and I told her that Daddy was trying to be cool.  Hope said, “Oh yeah.  Nothing is cooler than a man driving a mini-van with a little boy in the backseat watching a princess movie.  That’s realllly cool.”
 
Jack has named his brain Kevin.  Kevin comes and goes as he pleases.
 
MARCH
"Daddy, are pigs made out of bacon?”
 
Kurt and Hope are playing chess.  Jack and I wanted to participate so I told Hope to move one of her little prawns and Jack keeps shouting “King me!”  We’ve now been vanquished to Jack’s room to play bingo.  Apparently the chess-playing smarty-pants need it quiet.  Sigh…. Intellectuals.
 
The kids are getting older.  Hope takes 25 minute long showers and Jack has announced that he’s changing his name to Sonic.
 
APRIL
Signing off as an RGI/TDC employee for the last time… It’s been quite a ride.  12 years… As of Monday, it’s all Digital Felt Productions – woot-woot!
 
Hope got the part she wanted in her little school play.  Very excited for her!
 
Good Friday… a time to be thankful.  ♥
 
MAY
My little man Jack is 5 years old today!  ♥
 
Jack and I had a really long talk tonight.  Seriously, I think we talked for over an hour (which is an ETERNITY for a 5 year old).  I feel like we really made some progress – really broke through some barriers – really go the heart of some issues – and made a connection.  Of course the conversation would have been much more meaningful to me if I gave a rip about Super Mario Brothers…
 
So thankful for great times with great friends…

JUNE
The junk drawers in my kitchen won’t close anymore.  I think it’s time to escalate to a junk cupboard.
 
So Hope (who is 9) and I are having a talk. ME: Hope, you can’t date till you’re… HOPE: I know, till I’m 45.  ME: You know I’m just kidding when I say that, right?  HOPE: Yea.  ME: We’ll probably let you double date when you’re 15. You know what that is?  HOPE: Is that with two guys?!
 
It’s really hard to ignore the kids when they keep repeating themselves.

JULY
I ♥ UGSFAW
 
So I’m playing the board game LIFE with Jack and he starts warning me about the importance of buying car insurance because (and I quote) “you never know when some bozo is going to get in front of the wheel.”  In other news, I find myself getting a little bit weepy at the birth of all three of his LIFE babies.
 
Just for today, I choose to believe that there is some (however miniscule) nutritional value in Cocoa Puffs.
 
AUGUST
“Daddy, I don’t think Mom would appreciate you showing us how to do that.”
 
Just saw a lawyer commercial in which they were interviewing a client about his “fatal accident.”  I guess zombies need lawyers too.
 
Jack just saw a police car, but the words “police car” seemed to evade him, so he says, “Dad! Look at the… the… um…. th.. .th… the… jail taxi!”
 
SEPTEMBER
Hope told me this morning that since I refer to coffee as Joe, she is going to refer to milk as Kevin. (what is it with my kids and the name Kevin?)
 
Nutella:  Because “fudge sandwich” just sounds wrong.
 
Hope and Jack are barricaded in her secret lab (her room) putting the finishing touches on their dream teleportation device (a box covered with felt and scotch tape).  They are currently in a heated debate about laser beams and launch pads (apparently love for sci-fi is genetic).
 
OCTOBER
Happy 10^th birthday to my beautiful Hopey-Hope! ♥
 
It used to be that when Hope had a friend over they would play with dolls and kitchen sets.  Now they play with CD and players flip
Cameras so they can make their own music videos.  #timestheyareachangin’
 
If you say the word “gullible” slowly, it sounds like “oranges.”
 
NOVEMBER
Hope came home from school and told me she was DISAPPOINTED that PE was canceled. Who the heck does this kid belong to?!
 
Most of these protestors sound like they need to occupy a library.
 
ME: Kurt, Jack got in trouble at school – he got a color change. KURT: Man, that kid, what are gonna do wit-Well, wait – what did he do? ME: He was talking to a girl. KURT: ((silence))  ME: I SAID, he was talking to a girl. KURT: Was she cute?
 
DECEMBER
Fa la la la laaaa, la La.La.Laaaaaa!
 
ME:  Jack!  Time for bed!  JACK:  Pass….
 
Those little mirrors that they make so you can see what your baby is doing in the back seat of the car – never felt the need.  Now they are 10 and 5 and I’m getting one of those mirrors so that I can tell which kid I need to yell at.

Happy New Year to you!!

Bisquik Birthday!

This week we celebrated Hope's 10th birthday - double digits!!

Breakfast is her favorite meal of the day, so we wanted to do a special birthday breakfast for her.

Pancakes are her favorite breakfast food - so we wanted to incorporate that into her special breakfast.

Pancakes.... Breakfast.... Birthday.... boom!

My husband had an epiphany.

How about a Pancake Cake? Brilliant!

I added - how about a 10 layer pancake cake since she's 10 years old? Also brilliant!

We made the the pancakes the night before and then re-heated them that morning.

Hope was thrilled and I think a new tradition has been born.

Behold.... the 10-Pancake Pancake-Cake:

 

Behold the Biskquik Brilliance...

All 10 layers of yumminess....

A little cut-away view...

 It was glorious (and deeee-licious)!  AND!  It was cheap and easy (two of my favorite adjectives).  Yay for Biskquik birthdays!!

Blink...

Jack had his last day of Preschool VBS today.

His last big event as a preschooler.  I started thinking about the fact that he's going to start elementary school and how different it's going to be...

No more naptime.

No more snack.

No more Mother's Day Tea parties.

It feels a little strange.  It actually brought on a little panic....

See, people always tell you that it goes by really fast.

And I realized today....

It really does go by fast.

And once it's gone, you can't get it back.

Today marks the end of preschool. Tomorrow will be the end of college.

You blink and it's over....

Time is precious...

Ivory Soap. Who Knew, Right?!

So I saw this done on a blog that I love, love LOVE called Housing a Forest, and thought it looked like fun.  We highly recommend it.  All you need is a bar of Ivory Soap and a microwave. 

Watch our video. 

It's cool.

Here's a still shot of the soap cloud.  (be careful when you first take it out because it's a little hot).

You can use the soap cloud to make "soap paint" for the kids' baths.  Here's the link to the recipe for the soap paint.  I tried it and Jack loved it!

Good.Clean.Fun. (and it only cost 97 cents!)

DIY Summer Scientists... Fun (No, really. It was FUN!!)

Okay, so I saw this on Pinterest - another DIY. But hey! This time it really WAS simple, cheap, fast and fun. I was so excited!

Most people probably already know this little kid-pleaser, but it's new to me so I'll share it.

What you need:

1. White Vinegar
2. Dishwashing soap (I used lemon Joy)
3. Food Coloring
4. Baking Soda
5. A Clear glass (or clear plastic)
6. A tray to catch all the run off

The directions I read said to pour the vinegar first (fill the glass to the half-way point). Add a few drops of dishwashing soap and some food coloring; then stir it all together.

Drop a heaping spoonful of baking soda in the glass. Stand back and watch the smiles on the kids faces.

It worked.... But we found a variation that yielded a more dramatic effect.

1. Squeeze a few drops of dishwashing soap in the empty glass.
2. Drop in a heaping spoonful of baking soda (we used a LOT).
3. Add some food coloring (we used a LOT to make the color more vibrant).
4 Pour in some vinegar and watch it go!

Either way, it's fun, fast and pretty cheap. We actually had everything in the house already so it didn't cost us anything. My kids are 9 and 5 and they both really enjoyed it. Here's some pics...

Here they are. They're thinking that I'm about to set them up for another miserable craft experience (see prior blog entry for details on that). Note the trays - you're going to want something like that to catch the runoff (otherwise you'll have a huge mess)

The first time around we followed the original instructions (adding the baking soda to the vinegar). The reaction was okay - but it was much better when we did it the second time (adding the vinegar to the baking soda)

Jack is beginning to get into it here (I love his little face)...

Hope takes her turn next...

Now we start adding the vinegar to a big pile of baking soda (the reactions from both the glass and the kids got bigger and better)

Must.Add.More.Vinegar.

Boom!

Sigh.... So much fun.

Free. Fast. Fun.

Oh, and a little added bonus.... The combination of the baking soda and vinegar totally made the glasses sparkle. Seriously - I have the worst water/mineral stains on my glassware (ga-ross). This little experiment totally removed the stains. Again, most people probably already know about this little benefit, but I was completely clueless.

Try it. You'll like it!

Shopping with Idiots.

(DISCLAIMER: It is not my intent to offend the male popluation with this blog entry. I am merely re-capping a series of events - and my inablity to keep my mouth shut in the face of such events. Alright. You may proceed.)

I'm at Home Depot. I need to buy a couple props for a video shoot. The video is about a construction worker, so I need a vest and a hard hat.

I'm standing there, deliberating over which vest to get when I hear someone snickering behind me. I turn to look - and about 3 feet away from me are two guys. Just standing there, laughing.

At.Me.

Mr. Bigmouth grins at me, rolls his eyes and says, "Well would ya look at that. A chick. At a harware store. Buying CLOTHES. Typical."

Mr. Bigmouth's stunt double guffaws and says, "Yeah. Uh.... typical."

I give them a tight-lipped smile, and take a step toward them. I then remember my manners, turn on my heel and walk away.

Fast forward about 5 minutes.

I'm at the self-checkout line. I see that, in the next aisle over, Dumb and Dumber (aka Mr. Bigmouth and his stunt double) are also in a self-checkout line.

They are at their register - I am still waiting for the two people in front of me to take their turns.

The first person in my line finishes up and the line moves forward. Beavis and Butthead are still at their register. Apparently their purchase is taking a while.

The second person in line finishes up and it's now my turn. I glance over and and see that the Wonder Twins are still at war with their register.

I pay for my items, bag them up and begin walking toward the door. I look over and see that Bill & Ted are still trying to conquer their register and pay for their stuff (3 tubes of Liquid Nails and 2 tubs of spackle to be exact).

I walk over to them, stand about three feet away and just smile. They are arguing about how to use the register. It's clear that they can't figure out how to make a work.

They look up and I smile at them. I say, "Well would ya look at that. Two dudes. At a computer. And they don't know how to use it. Typical."

With that, I turn around and walk out; leaving them there to bask in their stupidity.

Look who's laughing now...

Daddy - Daughter Dating Dialogue

(Some of you have already read this on my husband's Facebook page, but I thought it warranted repeating.)

So Hope (who is 9) and Kurt are having a serious talk in the kitchen.

He says to her, "Now Hope, you know that you can't date until you're..."

She cuts him off with a roll of her eyes and retorts, "I know, I'know - I can't date till I'm like 45."

Kurt laughs and says, "You know I'm just kidding when I say that, right?"

"Yea" Hope responds slowly.

Kurt continues, "We'll probably let you double date when you're around 16. You know what double dating is?"

With renewed interest in the conversation, Hope says “Is that with two guys?”

I...... am so proud. ♥

2010 in Review - as told by our Facebook Status Updates

Okay, so this is the Goble version of the “Annual Christmas Letter.”
These are the highlights of 2010, as told by our Facebook Status Updates.

(Please don’t judge…)

JANUARY
Coffee of the day is: Jet Fuel (by Coffee People). It’s delightful. And extremely... caffeinated. Seriously. I’m really... Awake. This is good because Jack woke me up at 5:45 this morning and said, “Momma, I’m getting older and my voice is changing so I need to be awake and playing toys, not asleep in my smooshy bed.” ((sigh)) Don’t ask. I have NO idea where he gets this stuff.

Having dinner without one of the kids gagging/barfing at the table would be fantastic. It’s the simple things…

To the lady I caught with her face and hands pressed against my living room window looking into my house this morning: please don’t tap on the glass. I find the noise unsettling. Oh, and just because a house is for sale doesn’t mean that you can stalk its residents. Oh, and wash your face. You left a big grease stain on my window.

FEBRUARY
My coffee is ready, the couch is available and facebook is on the computer. All ready to commence with a little “me” time when Jack walks up to me and says, “Momma, will you please hold me?” My coffee is now cold and untouched, the computer went into hibernation mode and the cat has taken over my space on the couch. But who cares?! I got 20 minutes of snuggles from my little man. Life is so, so good…

HOPE: What happens if somebody gets too many speeding tickets?
KURT: They could get their license taken away.
HOPE: How would they get home?
KURT: Well, the officer wouldn’t take it away right then and there. They would have to go to court at some point and then the judge would take their license away.
HOPE: Okay, well, how would they get home from court?

MARCH
Hope is making purple pancakes, Kurt is cleaning purple food coloring off the counter, Jack is running around screaming “Purrrrrrrrple!” and I am leaving these Flying Purple Pancake Eaters to go play some serious Bunco in my pajamas (sadly, they are not purple).

Let’s be honest… sometimes kids just smell kinda bad.

Jack’s take on why we celebrate Easter: “Momma, on Easter we cheer for Jesus because He came away from the deadness. ((pause)) And coming away from the deadness is a BIG deal.”

Kurt is gonna wear shorts to church. Pink ones. He loves California.

APRIL
Great day spent with Kurt, the kids and my awesome First Christian Church family. Best.Easter.Ever.

Jack told me that he would snuggle with me on the couch if we could watch SpongeBob. We are now watching a SpongeBob marathon.

Personal space people, PERSONAL SPACE!

Heidi feels stupid because she took her son to his friend’s birthday party… a day early.

MAY
How is it possible that Jack is turning 4 tomorrow?

Gourmet veggie pizza, puppet-show theater put on by the kids, crazy bedtime stories and lots of laughs with Hope. Tonight’s been a good, good night.

Hope and Jack watched me open my Mother’s Day gift. As I was holding the gift in my lap, Jack asked (with his eyes glued to the gift I had just opened), “Ummm, Momma? When is Brother’s Day?”

Why is it that the only time I run into people I know at the grocery store is when I’m wearing pajamas and no make-up? Stupid poetic justice...

Feeling so blessed. So thankful…

JUNE
Morning just isn’t morning without a little clothes drama.

Jack just told Heidi that she’s big and handsome. She finds this troubling…

Dear God: Please help this kid realize that if he stops trying to force his way and starts concerning himself with pleasing me, his life will be so much happier.
Dear Kurt: Ditto.

Kurt, Hope and Jack make everything better.

JULY
Earthquake – 5.9!

So I was just told that the World Cup is NOT a competition referring to the World’s Best Cup of Coffee. I won’t lie; I’m pretty shook up about this.

Toy Story 3. Perfection.

Jack shoved one of his little green army men into the vent/grille under our refrigerator and it got stuck. Still reeling from watching Toy Story 3, Kurt and I were ready to take the entire refrigerator apart to free that little green army man. Tears were nearly shed. Army Man is now running free with his band of brothers. No toy left behind, people. No toy left behind. Victory is ours…

AUGUST
Hope leaves for her first trip to camp tomorrow – how is that possible? A whole week away – she’s so excited! ((sniff, sniff))

16 years ago I married the absolute best man in the entire world. Happy Anniversary Kurt – I love you!

HOPE: Dad, when we get home from camp we won’t have much time to do laundry before we have to leave for vacation and all my clothes are going to smell like squirrel poop.

Heidi told Jack he could choose what they have for dinner. So they had jelly tacos.

SEPTEMBER
Heidi thought of her Mom a lot today. Said good-bye 8 years ago… Very thankful for the time they got to share…

One day we’ll have Heaven. Joy will prevail and everything that is wrong with this world will be made right. But for now we have Del Taco.

Went to a barbeque last night. While our friend Bob prayed for dinner, I hear Jack shout out “Why is everyone sleeping?!”

Heidi is baking the Minnesota way. Baking cookies in a 9x13 pan and calling them bars.

OCTOBER
KURT: Jack, will you hurry up and go?
JACK: I gotta go poop.
KURT: Well then go poop. But hurry up, it’s bedtime!
JACK: Well I need a magazine!

New tradition in the Goble household: Every Wednesday is Speak-with-a-British-Accent-Day. It’s fun, family friendly and it’s free! So Bligh Me! Pip-pip, Cheerio, God save the Queen and all that sort of thing…

Happy Birthday to my beautiful girl – she is 9 years old today!

Heidi is still sick and has no voice at all. She’s totally unable to talk. No words whatsoever. In other news, Kurt is walking around in the greatest mood ever. Could the two be connected? This cynic thinks so…

NOVEMBER
Heidi overheard Hope singing Girls Just Wanna Have Fun at the top of her lungs while taking a bath. Her cup runneth over…

Kurt is thankful that his heart, lungs and liver are not in a bag that has been inserted in his rear end. (this is a reference to the Thanksgiving turkey – given how bizarre this status update is, I thought it warranted some contextualizing…)

Heidi is sitting on a bench in the shade at Disneyland, drinking coffee and people-watching while Kurt takes the kids on the Matterhorn. So nice…

We were at Disneyland yesterday and Jack heard the announcer say to “let your imagination soar!” Flash forward to this morning. He walks up to me with a big frown. I ask him what’s wrong and he says, “My imagination is sore.”

DECEMBER
After much research, I have come to the conclusion that caffeine truly is the nectar of Heaven. On a less exciting note, I have also found iron clad evidence that eating too many jelly bellies will in fact produce a jelly belly.

If crappy cooking were a super power, Heidi would rule the world.

Kids. Kurt. Christmas music. Christmas decorating. Cozy fire. Completely perfect.

Can’t wait to see what 2011 brings!
Hope you have a wonderful holiday season…
Merry Christmas!

Plan B Birthday....

Today is my birthday.

I've been looking forward to this day for a while.

I had everything all planned.

We were going take the kids to see Tangled.

We were going to hang out and bake turkey cookies (you know, were you cut out the shape of your hand, bake it and frost it like a turkey).

We were going to build a fire and play board games.

Then, tonight, we were going to go out with friends for sushi.

I got up before anyone else, so I settled in on the couch to drink coffee, watch old episodes of the X-Files and wait for the kids to wake up so we could get this day started.

Kurt and Hope got up first.

Hope and I were chatting about how excited we were to see Tangled when we heard Jack stirring in his room. Kurt went to go get him.

I was in the middle of telling Hope how excited I was about our plans when I heard Kurt shout, "Heidi, Jack threw up in his bed!"

Eeeeeew....

I go in his room and find that the poor kid, his pillow, bed and stuffed animales were caked in barf. He had done it at some point during the night and then just slept in it.

The smell was so strong that the paint was beginning to peel off the walls.

I knew immediately that my birthday plans were not to be. I was so disappointed. I've been looking forward to his day for such a long time. I feel bad admitting this, but I was so irritated. I mean, really, who wants to clean up barf on their birthday?

I took Jack to the bathroom to get him in the tub. He was so sad..... Shivering, sick and smelly.... I washed him all up and wrapped him up in a blanket that Kurt had put in the dryer so it would be really warm. He looked up at me with his big, blue eyes and said (with a quivering chin), "Happy Birthday Momma. I love you..."

Tears..... (mine, not his)

How I love this family.

And I can honestly say that I'm perfectly content to stay home, cleaning dried barf out of my four year old's ears.

It's not the way I'd planned it, but I can't imagine being anywhere but right here, right now...

So Plan B stands for Barf, but it also stands for "Better than I could have Imagined."

My Calm has been Damaged.

It's been a ridiculous evening.

I picked up Jack from school just in time to hear him yelling at his teacher.

FABulous.

So I took away his Nintendo Wii privileges and he had a meltdown.

BEAUtiful.

We drove home with the sounds of Goble's Concerto in D Minor (which sounded a lot like weeping and wailing) rattling the windows of the car.

SUPER.

We got home and Hope told me that she couldn't finish her math quiz today because she ran out of time. I told her that she ran out of time because she needs to work on her multiplication facts. She started sobbing about in injustice of it all and stomped off to her room.

PERfect.

I started emptying the dishwasher and cut the end of my thumb on a steak knife.

AWEsome.

I went into the bathroom to get a bandaid and saw Jack sitting as far back on the toilet as he could, trying to pee ON the toilet seat so that he could "make funny pee circles" with his fingers.

LOVEly.

I got Jack and the toilet seat all cleaned up and I walked into the laundry room to put the pee-soaked towels in the washer. I saw that Georgia (our new cat) left her litter box prematurely and had a little cling-on stuck to her butt.

JOYous Rapture.

I removed the stinky from Georgia's butt and flushed it down the toilet. After 5 minutes of washing my hands, I made my way into the kitchen where Hope has just burned a bag of microwave popcorn.

So now my house smells like cat crap and burnt popcorn.

FanTAStic.

I dumped the burnt popcorn into the already overflowing garbage can. I closed up the garbage bag and pulled it out of the can. I carried it into the garage and just before I got there, the bottom of the bag opened up and doused my feet in garbage water.

OUTstanding.

It's been a ridiculous evening.

Sigh....

More than Frogs and Snails and Puppy Dogs' Tails

My son Jack is 4 years old.

He is ALL boy.

He's hilarious, strong-willed, loving, stubborn, wonderful, frustrating... You get the idea.

He's a sweet little kid, but not always super lovey-dovey. Like I said, he's all boy.

Well, his preschool teacher at church pulled me aside several weeks ago and told me that she needed to speak with me about Jack.

No good conversation ever begins with, "I need to tell you about something Jack said..."

So I took a deep breath and braced myself for the worst.

She told me that she was talking with Jack about me and Kurt. She asked him to tell her what his mommy and daddy look like.

I immediately thought, "Oh snap - this is going to be BAD."

Jack said to her, "Well, my dad is tall and he has black hair."

Okay, I thought to myself - that's pretty close to what he looks like. Maybe this won't be so bad.

And then she asked him what I looked like.

I started sweating, willing the conversation to end. After hearing about how violently Jack has complained about my singing and my cooking, I could only imagine what he has to say about my appearance. Especially my Early-Morning-Pre-Coffee appearance.

I smiled at her and closed my eyes, steeling myself against whatever she had to say.

When asked what I looked like, Jack responded with,


"My Momma looks like a pretty dress."

Tears....

Sometimes they surprise you. ♥

Horror Hotel; Part II

RATED: PG-13
(don't say I didn't warn you...)



It's the morning after the Phinneas and Ferb 911 fiasco (see prior entry for details on that).

As I mentioned in my previous post, our kids were in one hotel room - and we were in the adjoining room. The door that connected our two rooms was always open so that we could keep an eye on the kids and so that they could run around.

Our rooms were set up so that the televsision sets from each room backed up to each other.

Our beds were on the far sides of each room; so the beds in the kids' room backed up against the wall of someone else's room.

We got up early that morning because we had a long drive ahead of us and we wanted to get an early start.

We were on our way to the hotel restaurant for breakfast. I looked down at Hope and asked her how she slept.

She said, "Oh, I slept okay - but it took me a while to get to sleep."

"Oh? Well, it's hard to get used to sleeping in a different bed, in a different place."

"I guess" she said. "But that's not why it took me a long time to get to sleep."

Intrigued, I ask "Why did it take you a long time to get to sleep honey? Were you scared? Mom and Dad were right there with you and the door was open the whole time - you could have just come in and gotten me."

"I wasn't scared" she said flatly.

(Now, at this point, I should have changed the subject. I should have left well enough alone. I should have shut my mouth. But do I do that? Nooooo. )

I press on with my inquiry into why she had such trouble falling asleep.

"Well honey, I know you were tired. So if you weren't scared, then why was it so hard for you to fall asleep?"

She came back with, "The people in the next room were kinda loud."

CRAP.

"Oh?" I asked, hoping she didn't notice the dread that has filled my voice.

"Yeah. They kept kicking the wall."

(I was at a loss. I honestly didn't know what to say).

"They were mad at each other too" she said, matter of factly.

Foolishly, I asked, "Why do you think they were mad at each other?"

"Because they kept yelling."

(Of course they did).

"It was weird because they would be kicking the wall and yelling and then they'd start laughing. Then I'd hear them kicking the wall again. It was really irritating."

(Oh dear... What do I say)?

"Hmmm..... Well, maybe they were just moving the furniture in the room or something." I offer up as my lame (and desperate) attempt to end the conversation.

Hope had her own theory. "I think they were playing Wall Ball."

(I grabbed onto that life line and held on for dear life).

"I bet you're right Hope! That's probably exACTly what they were doing!"

We finished breakfast and headed back to our room to check it one more time before we leaving to head home. It was still really early.

I stood in the kids' room, glaring at the wall behind their beds, mentally chewing out the people on the other side of it.

Kurt walked into the room and said, "Okay kids - take your shoes off and jump on the beds for 2 minutes!"

I started to protest, thinking that it was really early and they might wake the neighbors with all their jumping and yelling.

They might wake the neighbors.

Those stinkin' wall ball playin', furniture movin' neighbors.

Turnabout is fair play, right?

With an evil grin, I said, "Make it 5 minutes, kids. And yell as loud as you want."

Horror Hotel

It was our last night of vacation and the kids' first time staying in a hotel.

We got adjoining rooms and left the connecting doors open.

The kids were in heaven. They had their own room, their own TV, they each had their own bed... They thought it was the best thing ever.

Until they turned the TV on.

Kurt and I were unpacking the car when Jack came tearing into our room with a look of desperation on his face.

Out of breath he shouts, "Mommy, call 911!"

I feel all the blood rush to my head and my heart drops. I run into their room imagining one horrific possibility after another.

I'm shaking all over as I take in the scene in front of me.

Hope is sitting quietly on the bed, TV remote in hand, flipping through the channels.

Where's the blood? Where's the carnage? Where's the emergency???

Jack rushes into the room still shouting, "We have to call 911!"

Gritting my teeth, voice shaking, I glare down at him and ask, "Why do we need to call 911?"

He looks up at me, his face full of panic and says, "Because they don't have Phineus and Ferb on this TV!"

Apparently there's a Difference

ME: Jack, don't climb on the furniture.

(30 seconds later...)

ME: Jack, I said don't climb on the furniture.

JACK: Okay Mom.

(30 seconds later...)

ME: JACK!!! Don't climb on the furniture!!

JACK: I'm not! I'm climbing OFF the furniture!

sigh...

No Words...

Please pray for my friends Chuck and Vicki Gillette.

Their first grandchild was born in Australia on June 18th. His name is Evan Riley.

He was born with severe complications and will not survive.

Here is Vicki's status update from her Facebook page this morning.

"With heavy hearts Chuck & I leave SeaTac today 1pm for Australia, arr Sun 4:30p PDT. Nothing docs can do for little Evan. In a coma, can't survive w/o ventilator, severe internal organ failure. Hope he hangs on so we can hold, cuddle, pray, sing, kiss his sweet face, & have some Grandparent time. Pray especially for Kara & Glenn as they release him to Jesus. We are hurting. God is still God."

I can't imagine their pain. Please say a prayer for them and their family.

What?! So Much for Healthy Choices. . .

I love dessert. It's my favorite food group.

Well, given my fondness for dessert and my, uh..... lack of fondness for exercise and moderation, I eat diet desserts to avoid the rip-cord effect on my waist line.

So, yay! Diet Desserts!! Such a great idea!

I've started eating them and have found that I really love them.

A lot.

But, I've discovered a problem with them.

Apparently, they're not really dietetic. I mean, I'm eating them (instead of brownies, bars and banana splits) but I'm not losing any weight.

I even checked the nutrition facts on the label. It said, very clearly, that there's only 140 calories per serving.

And the serving size is 1.

Right.

So I ate one box of ice cream sandwhiches and I gained like two pounds.

Sigh....

You Scratch My Back and I'll Scr. . . and I'll Say Thank You.

The Ultimate Problem Solver

I saw this quote (author unknown), thought it was brilliant and wanted to share it with you.

If you don't like it, then just follow the instructions outlined in the quote.

"Handle every stressful situation like a dog.

If you can't eat it or play with it, just pee on it and walk away."

Words to live by, my friends.

Words to live by.

Be Careful What You Wish For. . .

After seeing what Daddy was cookin' up for dinner, Hope and Jack decided that I'm not such a terrible cook after all...

A Mother's Prayer. . .

Dear Lord,

Thank you for putting long stems on the Hi-Ho Cherry-Oh cherries.

The stems make it easy to quickly pull the cherry out of a screaming 4 year old's ear.

So, thanks.

Good lookin' out on Your part.

Amen.

Some New Favorite Things

I thought I would hurry up and post a new blog entry so that the ugly one will not be the first one you see when you visit my blog. Ugliness is a part of life - but the more I dwell on it, the longer the wounds shays fresh, and the longer I'm hurt by it. So! We're movin' on to something happier.

Here is a list of some of my new Favorite Things:

1. Words with Friends - it's an iPhone app. It's free. It's Scrabble. It will take over your life. Get it and play me - my user name is heidigirlhb.


2. How to Train Your Dragon - fantastic movie. We took our 4 year old - he was a little scared a few times but overall really dug it.

3. My Keurig coffee maker - this has been lifechanging!!! Coffee just how you want it in 5 seconds. No more waiting for a new pot to brew. I have officially left the Dark Ages.

4. Chuck - Oh man. This is my new television addicition. This show... I can't even tell you how much I LOVE it. Monday nights at 8:00 on NBC. So entertaining. So easy to follow. Soooo good.

5. Castle - Oh Man times two! My other new television addiction. Seriously! Snappy dialog - cool plotlines (The premise is that a murder/mystery/macabre author gets to tag along with a detective on murder investigations to get plots for his upcoming books). Monday nights at 1o:00 on ABC. Check it out - you will NOT be disappointed.

6. Pink's Grammy performance of Glitter in the Air - DISCLAIMER: Not for kids. Let me just say this: if I could have anyone's voice - I would want hers. And apparently, she's an acrobat too. And not just ANY acrobat. She's a singing/swimming acrobat. BUT! This performance is very Circu du Solei-ish and I don't think it's appropriate for kids. I'm just puttin' that out there. But, it's on Youtube - you should check it out. It's AMAZING.

7. Educational vidoes on Youtube. Yeah, yeah, this sounds like zzzzzzz..... material. But! I'm in the process of building a website (something I have NO clue how to do) and you would not believe the educational material that's available for free on Youtube - especially when making a CMS site using Wordpress. Good stuff.

8. Those eyeshadow kits that come with 4 colors and instructions on how to put the eyeshadow on your eyes (because I have no idea what color goes where). I got a good one from L"Oreal that even has little pictures to go along with the instructions - yessss!

9. Burt's Beeswax lip balm. This stuff is awesome - and it's pepperminty. Love it.

10. Trios - building blocks from Fisher Price. These have provide my son with hours of entertainment. He makes monsters, cars, building, you name it. He loves them - which means, I love them. They're fun for adults to play too.